You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
