we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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