I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
