If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
