Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
