i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
As shirtless as possible
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
