Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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