No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
