JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
