I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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