You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
whose ass print is on the piano?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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