Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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