We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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