I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
