love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
