i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
