we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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