Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
