its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
