Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
