This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
