I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Let's paint friendship bongs
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How naked do you want me to be?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
