OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
