I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
