i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
