i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
