Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
