is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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