My first STD was from a foam party
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
