It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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