she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
