I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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