Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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