Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
