wat bout pragnant strippers??
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
