At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
