thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
