It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
