If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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