she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
