I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
