using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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