Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
