shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
