I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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