you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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