The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
