did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize