I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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