Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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