we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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