So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You ruined the universe
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
