Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
