Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
