check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
