You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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