she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
