I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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