She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
